Emotional Whiplash

Things were great and then they weren’t so great and then they were bad and then they were good and then they quickly weren’t as good and then they were all right and then everything was solved forever, except they really weren’t, and now everything’s just OK again.


Allow me to explain.

After the early-April round of antibiotics ended, I was feeling pretty good. As of Easter Sunday, in fact, I was feeling better than I had since January when shit first hit the fan. Those good feelings were short-lived, however, as, after a particularly vigorous round of airway clearance, I irritated something and coughed up some blood.

I still felt fine — the hemoptysis (the medical term for horking up blood) was only for a few minutes and, unforunately, isn’t unheard of in CF patients — but I was admitted to the hospital for observation all the same. While there, they decided to throw in some more IV antibiotics and I was discharged a few days later for home IV therapy.

Within 24 hours at the apartment in Sunnyvale, though, I coughed up blood for a second time, in an almost identical fashion. I was then admitted to the hospital again — twice in one week; a new personal record! — and once more held for observation.

That was Friday. I had a third bout of hemoptysis this morning and will be riding out the remaining week of IVs here at Stanford, which I kind of expected. What I did not expect was a cardiothoracic surgeon to come bustling in shortly thereafter and ask me if I was down for some new lungs. Monica and I had a brief discussion, decided that yes, yes I was down for some new lungs, and then, despite knowing better, proceeded to get excited. Within fifteen minutes that same surgeon came back in to tell us, sorry, no go. The lungs were not as healthy as initially reported and we were back to waiting.

That was all before lunch. We spent the rest of the afternoon just kind of emotionally exhausted and zoned out.

Anyway, that’s been my April. How are you?

Also, as a reminder, the Exponential Apocalypse e-books are on sale until I get transplanted. All three books for less than five bucks. They’re never gonna be cheaper than this again!