Black Hole, Son!
Jersey Devil Press, 2018
Kindle / Paperback coming soon!
The fifth and final book in the EXPONENTIAL APOCALYPSE series! Following the events of REVENGE-ARONI, Thor Odinson and Queen Victoria XXX find themselves world famous and living high on the hog — assuming that hog is depressed, a little agoraphobic, and literally high. But then! Explosions! Punching! Some other stuff! Hijinks — and hilariousness and terrible awryness — ensue.
A note to new readers: This is not for you. This is not the place to start fresh. This here is a coda to the last ten years of EXPONENTIAL APOCALYPSE. A swan song, a last waltz, a tearful goodbye. BLACK HOLE, SON! is for the folks who want to see how it all ends. Not well, obviously.
“Reads like Mad Max as revamped by Terry Pratchett.” — Ashley, Bookish Creature
Rosario and Javed want nothing more than to run off and start a new life together … but between the rattlerunner attacks, the blood feud between the Costco and the Sam’s Club, and the HOA fees, happily ever after isn’t looking so likely for the teenagers. STORE-CROSSED is an epic post-apocalyptic YA love story, equal parts John Hughes and Stephen Spielberg, and a tale unlike any other.
“I remember seeing Rocky Horror Picture Show and Phantom of the Paradise as a double feature (yes, a science fiction double feature) in the ’70s. I thought they were out there. Revenge-aroni is as far beyond those movies as they were beyond Heidi and The Sound Of Music.” — Mike, Books Are Theater of the Mind
The fourth book in the EXPONENTIAL APOCALYPSE series, REVENGE-ARONI is smart, vulgar, and quite simply and with absolutely zero hyperbole, the single best post-apocalyptic book about borderline inept, mercenary heroes you will ever read. Filled with gallows humor and inventive swearing and run-on sentences, as well as sex, drugs, violence, and blatant attacks on artisanal coffee, REVENGE-ARONI will surely be looked back on as the piece of literature that saved humanity from both itself and the inevitable uprising of homicidal crab-people.
The world has ended twenty-six and a half times to date… but that’s not about to stop it from trying again.
HIGH VOLTAGE, the third novel in the EXPONENTIAL APOCALYPSE series, is the perfect jumping on point for new readers. All of the fast-paced humor and snark of the first two critically-acclaimed, best-selling books and none of the having to read them first.
Witty and wired, HIGH VOLTAGE is the post-apocalyptic dark comedy for anyone who wishes The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy had more dick jokes or Clerks had more homicidal old lady ghosts. And, you know, was a book.
Red Bird Chapbooks, 2013
What if fairy tales are stories told from a distance? What if fairy tales are the idealized imaginings of someone who viewed the situation from far, far, away, and never troubled to get the details about what really transpired? What if closer inspection reveals a more human cast of characters? Eirik Gumeny proposes a new vision for the heroes, heroines, and horrors that have been passed down to children for generations, and it all begins in the bright, garden-choked suburbs of northern New Jersey…
Includes “Storybook Romance,” “Starlight,” “Too Close to the Sun,” and the Pushcart-nominated “Rubble,” as well as new, previously unpublished flash fiction.
Boy Meets Girl
Kattywompus Press, 2013
Boy Meets Girl, a chapbook of short prose, is now available from Kattywompus Press. Heartbreaking and brokenhearted, these flash fictions by Eirik Gumeny are miniature excavations of us, our times, our foibles and dreams.
Includes “Ballpoint & Boredom,” “The Arsonist & the Thief of Hearts,” “Hymn,” “Milk, Eggs, Bread,” as well as new, previously unpublished prose.
“If The Avengers was written by Terry Pratchett and directed by Kevin Smith, you might end up in the same dimension as Dead Presidents. Eirik Gumeny’s sequel to Exponential Apocalypse is a weird, wild ride through post-post apocalyptic America. And it’s dead funny.” — Kat Clay, Radiant Attack
DEAD PRESIDENTS, the second book in the EXPONENTIAL APOCALYPSE series, continues where the first one left off, following Thor and company through a world rife with megalomaniacal clones, dinosaur armies, zombies, mad scientists, rhinos with lasers, and all manner of action and misadventure. Uproarious and unrestrained, DEAD PRESIDENTS puts the doody in doomsday and the ha in worldwide annihilation.
“Fast, weird, and funny as hell.” — Victor David Giron, Curbside Splendor
EXPONENTIAL APOCALYPSE is the tender, heart-stirring tale of crappy jobs, a slacker cult, an alcoholic Aztec god, reconstituted world leaders, werewolves, robots, and the shenanigans of multiple persons living after the twentieth-aught end of the world. Fast-paced, frenetic, funny, and frequently fond of other f-words, EXPONENTIAL APOCALYPSE is the only book that will have you looking forward to the end of the world.
Quintology of Qualms
SCREAM in delight as an orphan sacrifice goes hilariously awry! TREMBLE and FRET as witches and werewolves start working out their issues with claws and magic! POOP YOUR PANTS as two mad scientists take their creation out for coffee with disastrous results!
Two more than a Trilogy of Terror, one less than a Sextet of Sadness, and legally unrelated to a Treehouse of Horror, “mad genius” Eirik Gumeny brings you a QUINTOLOGY OF QUALMS! The only Halloween-themed horror comedy collection worth having! Read it IF YOU DARE!
We’re Going to Die Here, Aren’t We?
We’re Going to Die Here, Aren’t We? collects nine short stories by Eirik Gumeny, author of the Exponential Apocalypse books. Originally published in a variety of journals ranging from Thieves Jargon to Jersey Devil Press, these stories are every bit as insane and hilarious as Gumeny’s longer works. We’re Going to Die Here, Aren’t We? includes the acclaimed short “The Astrophysicist” and the Pushcart-nominated story “114.”
Devil Went Down to Jersey
Devil Went Down to Jersey is a tongue-in-cheek novelette by Exponential Apocalypse author Eirik Gumeny, poking fun at the serious and the sacred, while simultaneously exploring larger societal problems of greed and overwhelming self-interest. There’s also a fight between Satan and a homeless man over a Twinkie that could destroy the world. Profane? A little. Blasphemous? Most certainly. Hilarious? You bet your ass.
Quick Shivers about Bugs: from DailyNightmare.com
Quick Shivers about Bugs presents a different kind of graphic literature in this third annual anthology. Extremely short bug-related nightmares appear bizarrely typeset, oddly illustrated and in full color. This edition includes essays and stories that explore the ways that bugs have wriggled their way into our imaginations.
CommuterLit Selections Fall 2013
CommuterLit Selections Fall 2013 is the first of what will be periodic anthologies of poems and short stories culled from the best of CommuterLit.com, which posts a new short story, novel excerpt or poem each day from Monday to Friday, specially formatted to read on mobile devices of all screen sizes. Our focus is works of fiction, memoir or poetry that can be enjoyed during a 20- to 30-minute public-transit commute to work.
Featuring fiction by Mike Sweeney, yt sumner, M.R. Lang, Gavin Broom, and more, the 2010 Jersey Devil Press Anthology is without a doubt the single greatest collection of stories written by multiple authors released by Jersey Devil Press this summer. It’s a veritable bacchanal of genre-straddling, clown-fearing, taco-hunting, world-ending prose!
Untreed Reads, 2011
Grimm Tales is a collection of stories by some of the top names in online crime fiction, all based on classic fairy tales. As novelist Ken Bruen writes in his introduction, “Ever imagined what would have come down the dark pike if The Brothers Grimm were more Brothers Coen and wrote mystery?” The collection is edited by John Kenyon, editor of Grift magazine, and contains 17 stories by Patricia Abbott, Absolutely*Kate, Jack Bates, Eric Beetner, Nigel Bird, Loren Eaton, Kaye George, Blu Gilliand, Seana Graham, Eirik Gumeny, R.L. Kelstrom, John Kenyon, BV Lawson, Evan Lewis, B. Nagel, Sean Patrick Reardon and Sandra Seamans.
It’s the end of the world… but there’s still time to send out a quick email. This collection features 33 apocalyptic collaborative short stories, written entirely in email format. The end is near, so you better read while you can!
Deadlier Than Thou
Deadly Chaps, 2011
The 2010 Print Anthology of the popular eLit Magazine Short, Fast, and Deadly. 110 best-of selections and 24 pieces published for the first time devoted to the months of the year. No attention span? No Problem. The shortest, fastest, deadliest literature in the business.