This has been a shit year for any number of shit reasons, so here’s a contextless dump of links to things I wrote, because I’ve been exhausted since March and, honestly, 2020 doesn’t deserve any more of my emotional energy. (Even if a lot of the stuff I wrote was actually pretty good.)
First, this Cracked article, which was literally YEARS in the making: “Famous Moments In History (Brought To You By Incompetence)” No joke, the first iteration of what would eventually be this listicle started in 2015.
Next, this clunkily-titled article about pandemic productivity through the ages, and how people spin shitstorms into great art.
Here’s one for SYFY Wire about why you should watch HBO’s AVENUE 5 – an opinion that is still very accurate. (Fun fact: the creator of the show, Armando Iannucci, actually shared this one on Twitter!)
This article, in which I detail how ANIMAL CROSSING is secretly an existential horror show that makes my soul sad, was, ironically, my most popular piece for the year.
Back to Cracked again: this one, “5 Movies That Did Crazy Stuff In The Name Of Realism,” let me talk about the sandstorm scene in RETURN OF THE JEDI, which I probably would’ve done for free.
Meanwhile, “4 Evil Movie Science Plans That Aren’t So Bad” let me once again rail against organ transplant representation in movies, because Hollywood refuses to listen to me. Also, transhumanism, turning corpses into fertilizer, and a fourth one I can’t remember.
After news of its untimely cancellation broke, I wrote about how THE VENTURE BROS. accidentally created the greatest and most cohesive superhero universe out there.
My sole Halloween effort this year – and my first feature for Nerdist – was about how THE BLOB was based on a true story and an ancient, possibly interstellar phenomenon that continues TO THIS VERY DAY. [spooky music]
Finally, my last article for the year is this one about COMMUNITY and how 2010’s “Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas” is both great and custom-made for this ridiculous year.
And, of course, I’d be remiss for not mentioning that I also published a book in March – a monolithic tome, actually – back when the world didn’t seem quite so stupid, hope was still a thing, and we weren’t blowing all of our discretionary income on designer face masks. THE END OF EVERYTHING FOREVER is a tenth anniversary collection of all the EXPONENTIAL APOCALYPSE books and stories and you should buy it. (And also maybe leave a review, please?)
Add in never leaving my house, frequently forgetting to shower, and a strangely popular opinion about candy canes, and that’s my 2020 in a nutshell. I was more or less fine, in the grander scope of things, but here’s to dropping a steaming shit on this year’s grave anyway.